Category: Coping strategy (Page 1 of 3)

Addressing Self-Isolating When You Have Bipolar Disorder

October 9, 2022 / Allan Cooper

When you have bipolar disorder it is easy to feel like you are alone and disconnected from the rest of the world. Our symptoms are difficult for people to understand because they only see behaviour that they might find frustrating, confusing and maybe even scary. This can lead to ruptured friendships, job loss and distancing by family members. Plus, some of our symptoms include negative thoughts and anxiety which may lead to an illogical fear of leaving our homes.

During my last manic episode, I was experiencing a lack of inhibitions which led to an impulsive decision to move to a small town. I was still high and experiencing psychosis when I moved there and I only have vague memories of what happened when I arrived. When the manic episode ended the tremendous darkness of a severe depressive episode seeped into my body.

I had never lived in a small town, and I did not know anyone who lived in the community. My mania had caused me to lose my job and I lost any connection I had to my former colleagues. My behavior when I was high caused ruptured friendships and distance between me and my family members. My appetite tanked. The most I would eat during the day was one sausage roll and maybe some orange juice. Some days, I didn’t eat anything at all. I didn’t have enough money to even get the internet or cable TV so I watched the same three DVDs everyday and I listened to the radio. I was so exhausted and achy that I spent most of my time in bed.

When my mood is low my anxiety is high. This means when I was awake, I was in a constant state of fear even though I was not in any danger. Plus, I was afraid that people would recognize me from when I had my manic episode if I went out in public and I feared how they would react to me. I would only leave my home to get necessities and then I would hurry back to lie in bed with body aches, fear and awful negative thoughts bombarding my brain.

I am fortunate because I have family members who care about me and were determined to support me regardless of the fact that there were no signs that I would be getting better anytime soon. They called me everyday imploring me to keep eating and encouraging me to keep trying to get better. In retrospect, all of those phone calls were crucial in helping me through that period in my life.

At some point, my energy improved, and I spent less time in bed, but I was still fearful of leaving my home. I made a goal to just get on the other side of the door to my house. It didn’t matter what I did or where I went after that. I just needed to get on the other side of the door. Once I was able to leave my home I found support and connection to people at a local church and gradually I started to feel more comfortable outside my place.

The piece that really made a huge difference for me is when I reconnected with my friends who have bipolar disorder. They understood what I was going through and reminded me of the tools I needed to implement to rebuild my life. Their support helped me tremendously in getting my life back on track.

Getting stuck in self-isolation is scary. You become imprisoned in your own home. The longer the isolation lasts the larger the gap between yourself and the rest of society feels. For me, the only solution was to just get on the other side of the door to my home. I had to take that one step that opened me up to the possibility of returning to the support and potential for joy that comes from being connected to people. This one step eventually grew into a life that I enjoy that includes a sense of fulfilment and stability.

Ten Tips for Having a Positive Year in 2022 When You Have Bipolar Disorder

December 31, 2021 / Allan Cooper

Here are my top ten tips for having a positive life when you have bipolar disorder. They are based on my own personal experience and what I have learnt from my psychiatrist and peer support.

1. Ask Yourself What Is Best For Your Mental Health

When I am faced with a difficult decision the first thing I ask myself is what is best for my mental health. When you have bipolar disorder you have to be mindful of how you spend your energy because we cannot afford to waste any if we want to maintain a positive life.

2.Take your meds.

There is no cure for bipolar disorder, but the right medication can give us a chance to have a positive life. Finding the right medication is generally a long process but there are things you can do to speed things up and make your treatment more effective. Bring as much information as possible with with you when you see your psychiatrist. This can include mood charts, a list of when and how you experience your symptoms and any side effects that your medication is giving you. There is no blood test or imaging device that a psychiatrist can use to treat your bipolar disorder. They rely on what we report to make their decisions. Do not discontinue your meds without psychiatric consultation because you feel fine. This would be like discontinuing diabetes medication because your sugar levels have returned to normal.

3. Don’t be hard on yourself.

People who have bipolar disorder often blame themselves for their symptoms. This can create a sense of discouragement which leads to less activity and ultimately worsens symptoms. I have found it is better to acknowledge that I am having a depressive episode which comes with real physical symptoms of fatigue, aches and pains, poor concentration, and an inability to enjoy things. When this happens, I just try to do my best to keep going. It doesn’t matter what I do or how well I do it I just try to keep moving, stay out of bed and keep my commitments. If I can do these things the day has been a success

4. Attend Peer Support.

Having people in your life who understand what you are going through, provide encouragement and tips on how to deal with it can be extremely helpful. I frequently say peer support is like magic, and for many of us, it is as important as medication. During the bad days, it is nice to have peers who truly understand the challenges that come with having the illness and authentically applaud every effort made to overcome symptoms.

5. Keep moving.

If you can commit to an exercise routine that is fantastic, but any amount of movement is good for the vast majority of people who have bipolar disorder. When I notice depressive episode symptoms starting, if I begin to walk regularly the episodes are not as severe and they do not last as long. When you are not well, the thought of exercise can be overwhelming, and you may not have the physical energy to do it. If that is the case, then just keep moving. Just do the best you can to stay out of bed.

6. See your psychiatrist regularly.

It is important to have a routine on when you see your psychiatrist even when things are going well. Bipolar disorder symptoms can change quickly and access to a psychiatrist is important. If your symptoms are becoming acute contact your psychiatrist right away and see if you can see them prior to your next appointment. If I was a psychiatrist, I would rather see a patient before things become severely acute rather than have to treat someone who needs to be hospitalized. I imagine there are psychiatrist who do not or cannot accommodate that type of care, but it is important to do the best we can to advocate for ourselves to receive the treatment we require.

7. Attend therapy.

Not everyone with bipolar disorder needs to deal with trauma from their past but if you do it can make living with bipolar disorder difficult. An innocuous event may trigger a flash back which results in stress making our symptoms worse. Therapy can also teach us skills to address negative thinking patterns that cause stress, anxiety and relationship problems.

8. Practice Mindfulness.

Mindfulness is a method one can use to stay in the present moment and, with practice, it can provide relief from the constant thoughts that bombard your brain when you have bipolar disorder. It can also help reduce the pain of memories of events that happened when we were acutely ill that cause shame and reduce anxiety.

9. Have a structured routine.

People with bipolar disorder thrive when they have structure. The right level of commitments and activities is different for everyone but a routine that includes meaningful work, paid or volunteer, physical activity, a healthy social life and recreation can create a life that people can enjoy.

10. Welcome Joy Into Your Life

Happiness is not a symptom. If you feel good and you are not having symptoms of mania then enjoy it. Do what brings you joy. If you are creative then create to your hearts content. Maybe volunteering, helping others or random acts of kindness brings you joy. It doesn’t matter what it is, just try and make space for it in your life.

Happy New Year everyone! I hope it brings you all the joy and prosperity you can handle. Please leave a comment below to tell me what you think of my list. Did I leave anything out? Are some of them ridiculous? Are some of them brilliant? Any feedback is appreciated.

Rebuilding Your Life After a Severe Episode

November 22, 2021 / Allan Cooper

Having bipolar disorder can result in many losses that may destroy one’s belief in the possibility of returning to a positive life. Acute manic or depressive episodes can result in a lose of employment, relationships with a spouse, friends, and colleagues. Plus, it is common for people to lose all their money and assets.

For example, one could have a severe manic episode that results in an extreme amount of spending which can burn through people’s savings and assets. During this episode, one can become irritable which can lead to a loss of a job or relationships. If you experience psychosis such as hallucinations, paranoia or delusions of grandeur, people do not understand you are simply not well and may become fearful of you which can also lead to a loss of relationships. Perhaps, your spouse decides they cannot deal with the drama of your illness, and they leave. In just a couple of months, you can lose all your money, assets friendships, job, and spouse.

At the end of a manic episode a depressive episode will follow which includes symptoms like extreme exhaustion, body aches, poor concentration, suicidal ideation, and an inability to enjoy anything. It feels like you are a shell of a human being and it’s easy to become hopeless. However, it is possible to rebuild your life after this happens even though it seems impossible. I, and many other people who have bipolar disorder, have been able to claw their way back to a life they enjoy after these types of incidents.

My first depressive episode was the greatest amount of suffering I have ever experienced. I had lost everything. My career, marriage, all of my money and most of my friendships. My appetite was so poor I hardly ate anything, and I had to use two hands to brush my teeth. I spent several months lying in bed. This is common during depressive episodes because the fatigue is extreme, and the warmth of the bed helps ease the pain of the body aches.

To recover from this episode I made incremental improvements in my life on a daily basis. My first goal was to spend more time sitting up in bed rather than lying down the whole day. Eventually, I was able to spend more time out of bed. Then, I built on the tiny successes everyday. I would simply do my best to make the day a little bit better than the previous day. Eventually, this created a kind of moment that helped me start down the path of wellness.

This November I have been participating in Move for Movember, an initiative where I have to walk 60 km in one month for the 60 men who die by suicide every hour around the world. You can donate by clicking here. I was hesitant to participate in this campaign because last month I walked 0 km. But I used the same approach to completing the challenge that I have used to rebuild my life when bipolar takes so much from me. At first, I just did 2 km/day. Everyday, I managed to do a tiny bit and recently my walks have been longer. I have completed 56 km and there are still a few days left in November.

When bipolar disorder destroys your life the thought of ever having a life you enjoy again seems unfathomable, but it is possible. Methodically rebuilding your life one small piece at a time is the only way to get your life. Many people who have bipolar have done it so there is always hope that life will get better.

Fall and the Winter Months When You Have Bipolar Disorder

September 27, 2021 / Allan Cooper

Over the years of facilitating peer support groups for people who have bipolar disorder, I have noticed that some individuals have their symptoms change in the Fall and Winter. In Calgary, during these months the days become shorter, and it can be uncomfortable to go outside in the cold weather. People tend to become less active and more isolated. All of these factors can lead to depressive episodes. There are some people who struggle with symptoms of mania or hypomania during the winter but most people I have encountered generally see their mood dip.

I used to really struggle during the Winter. My mood would become so low that I would have a hard time functioning. My psychiatrist had to make tweaks to my medication every year to help me get through it. For me, taking Vitamin D everyday has helped and doing fun activities like badminton and winter hiking have contributed to improving my quality of life in the winter.

Some people who have bipolar disorder sit in front of a light box every morning in the Winter. These lamps that are used to treat Season Affective Disorder, an illness that causes depressive symptoms in the winter, can also help people who have bipolar disorder. If you have bipolar, using these lamps can trigger manic episodes so it is important to work with a psychiatrist to determine the best way to use them.

Having bipolar and leading a positive life is a lot of work. You have to be aware of your symptoms but not focus on them so much that it brings you down. You have to watch your stress level and use any tool available to you like exercise, meditation or counselling to keep it in check. You have to look for patterns like your bipolar disorder reacting to a change in season, negative relationships or the nature of the work you do. Once you learn how your own particular bipolar works and you find the right medication and coping mechanisms you can have a positive life that brings you moments of joy despite the suffering.

I hope you found todays blog interesting. I would be interested in hearing stories of other people who have issues with the change in season. I am a very curious about people who do not live in Calgary and what the winters are like where you live and if there any challenges during the winter months where you live.

Back To Stress

September 13, 2021 / Allan Cooper

In Canada, life takes on a more serious tone in September. This is the month that children go back to school after their two-month summer holiday, students of post secondary institutions return to classes and many people’s jobs get busier after our brief warm summer months. This transition can cause a considerable amount of stress for everyone. High levels of stress are not good for people with bipolar disorder.

My bipolar disorder is highly sensitive to stress. Elevated stress levels played a significant roll in my first and subsequent full blown manic episodes and all my severe depressive episodes. If I am not mindful of the amount of stress I have in my life the consequences can be devastating. Every acute episode I have had has resulted in a loss of employment, relationships, and all my money. There are many things you cannot control when you have bipolar disorder but if you can decrease your stress level this can help lower the likelihood of acute episodes and help manage chronic symptoms.

The first thing to consider is to take an objective view of your bipolar disorder to figure out how much activity you can do. Bipolar disorder is not like a broken leg where the symptoms and treatment are the same for everyone. Everyone’s bipolar disorder is different. Some people can be so reactive to stress that employment would cause them to have a severe manic episode that could include psychosis or depressive episodes that have the possibility of death by suicide. Reflecting on the events that led to previous episodes can give you a sense of what you are capable of doing.

Regardless of whether you are working or not, stress needs to be managed. In Canada, since many activities start in September it is often the time of year we choose to make commitments. It is important to keep in mind the limitations of your illness when you agree to add an activity to your life. It is easy to agree to do more than you are capable of doing when your symptoms are in remission.

There are other wellness practices that can help reduce stress. Mindfulness, a life practice that grounds people in the present moment through activities like meditation and yoga can make a dramatic change in stress levels. Any form of exercise, peer support groups and incorporating recreational opportunities or volunteer work into your routine are all excellent ways to reduce stress.

Despite our best efforts, life will surprise us and we will end up having to deal with intense moments of stress. The best we can do to mitigate the damage these events cause on our lives is create a healthy routine and use as many tools as possible to decrease our stress level. This will not guarantee that we will not become acutely ill, but it gives us a better chance of maintaining wellness.

Bipolar Disorder and Stress

May 31, 2021 / Allan Cooper

Stress management plays an integral role in maintaining a stable life when you have bipolar disorder. High levels of stress can trigger acute depressive and manic episodes. The frequency and severity of these episodes can be reduced by a lifestyle that is conducive to a lower stress level. Having a life that is suitable for your tolerance of stress, healthy relationships, a support system, counselling, and other wellness practices can help manage the symptoms of bipolar disorder.

Finding an activity level that is congruent with someone who has bipolar disorder’s tolerance for stress comes from experience. It is only after having multiple episodes can it be determined how sensitive an individual’s bipolar disorder is to stress. Once a pattern emerges, decisions can be made on matters like the capacity to maintain employment or attend school. These decisions can be hard on one’s self esteem, but they may be necessary for long term stability.

When you have bipolar disorder, navigating personal relationships in a positive way can reduce the chances of stress induced acute symptoms. There is no black and white approach that can be used to do this. Using relationship skills is more of an art that takes into consideration the consequences of changing behaviour, one’s sense of duty, power dynamics and the nature of the relationship. Learning about healthy boundaries and other social skills an be helpful. The Canadian Mental Health Association offers free courses online on these topics in their Calgary Recovery College.

You cannot maintain stability without a support network. Psychologist Kelly McGonigal makes the argument that stress is good for us as long as we seek the support of others in her TED talk How to Make Stress Your Friend. While this view may be extreme for people who have bipolar disorder, it illustrates the value of having support. The support of family and friends is essential for people who have bipolar disorder and peer support groups like those offered by OBAD or the DBSA can be life changing.

Counseling can play a significant role in reducing stress. People who have experienced trauma from life experiences or their episodes can benefit from therapy that addresses these issues. Counselling can also help with negative thought patterns, emotional dysregulation, and relationships.

Mindfulness, a life practice that grounds you in the present moment, and exercise are often recommended as ways to decrease stress. While it is true that incorporating these two things into your life will reduce your stress it may be a challenge to maintain a routine that includes these activities given the constant change in our symptoms. For this reason, I feel it is important to decrease stress in multiple areas of life.

Maintaining a positive life when you have bipolar disorder requires a lot of work. One must be mindful of their symptoms, be an active participant in finding the right medication, and create a life with a manageable level of stress. It takes a long time to build all of this into your life but usually the suffering decreases along the way and the frequency of consistent moments of joy increase.

This will be my last written blog until September 6, 2021. For the next three months, I will be sharing a link to my podcast, “The Bipolar Disorder Moment” where I will be reading excerpts from my book , Brain Betrayal: The Allan They Never Met, every week. My book has not been published yet but hopefully a publisher will pick it up in the near future.

Please subscribe to my site if you would like to receive a link to my blog emailed to you every week.

Bipolar Disorder and Shame

May 24, 2021 / Allan Cooper

One of the most awful aspects of having bipolar disorder is dealing with the shame that comes after having manic and depressive episodes. Our symptoms are caused by a chemical imbalance that makes us behave in ways that can be confusing, hurtful, and problematic to those around us. Because our illness causes a change in behaviour it is difficult for people to separate our symptoms from who we are as people. As a result, individuals in our life may change the way they treat us after an episode. This along with memories of the episode can all contribute to a heavy sense of shame.

After manic episodes, people who are impact by the episode may react to the person who had it with anger, resentment, and fear. It is not my place to say which of these feelings are valid or not valid, but I believe the fear is often a result of the media and entertainment industry’s love of portraying people who have mental illnesses as violent. We are no more likely to be violent than the general population. Feelings of anger and resentment are valid but a challenge to process because we would never choose to behave the way that we do when we are acutely ill. Being the brunt of this type of negativity is hard on our self esteem and it diminishes our ability to have a positive sense of self.

The shame that comes from depressive episodes can be different. These episodes may result in friends breaking off contact from you because you are no longer pleasant to be around. You may lose a job because you are not able to perform your duties or a relationship with a spouse may end as they feel you are no longer capable of being a positive influence in their life. These episodes are not our fault, but the consequences on our lives are considerable and can be hard on our sense of self worth.

It is not just the reaction of people around us that is difficult, but the memories of our behaviour can bother us as well. I remember saying awful things to loved ones during the height of my irritability and the confused faces of people who did not understand my psychosis. These memories used to weigh heavily on me, and they made me wonder if I deserved to pursue a better life.

One of the ways I recovered from the overwhelming shame was by attending a peer support group at OBAD. It was nice to meet people who had bipolar disorder that managed to have a positive life and almost everyone could relate to my experience of dealing with shame. Attending the group and trying to focus on living in the moment rather than ruminating on the past has helped.

I have heard stories of family members repetitively reminding people who have bipolar disorder of their behaviour during acute episodes because they are angry or hurt by what happened. While it is understandable that one would want to seek comfort after being hurt by these events, constantly reminding someone of their behaviour when they were acutely ill is hurtful. It may be more helpful to seek out support from agencies like the Organization for Bipolar Affective Disorder, the Canadian Mental Health Association and the DBSA who have groups and resources for family members of people who have bipolar disorder.

Feelings of shame after acute episodes can be so debilitating that it may hinder the possibility of returning to a functional life. Even if I deserve to be punished for the pain my illness has caused people connected to my life, surely a life sentence of crippling shame would be an excessive punishment. To minimize the negative impact my illness has on those around me, all I can do is make lifestyle choices that are conducive to making my symptoms manageable. I cannot do this if I am stuck in shame.

The Value of Learning About Your Bipolar Disorder

May 17, 2021 / Allan Cooper

Everyone who has bipolar disorder has their own unique version of the illness. We all understand what it is like to be stuck in the physical anguish of a depressive episode and the euphoria of hypomania but the severity of our symptoms, how they manifest and how we respond to medication is different. It is important to learn as much as possible about your bipolar disorder to have a positive life.

For example, after my last manic episode, a psychiatrist told me that taking too much pleasure in creative thinking, solutions to problems or philosophical ideas can trigger a manic episode for me. He called this, “Intellectualizing.” When I reflect on all three of my manic episodes, I realize they were all triggered by intellectualizing. This means, I am careful about what I talk about and think about. I do not push my brain to the edges of philosophical questions, and I am mindful of how excited I get about my own thoughts.

I have learned from my experience of having depressive episodes as well. When I am in my car and I notice that I keep changing the radio station I start to wonder if my mood is dipping. An inability to enjoy things is a symptom of depressive episodes and this can be the first sign that this is occurring for me. Then, I think about whether or not I am having other symptoms like poor appetite, fatigue, and lack of concentration. If I am, I add more physical activity to my routine. This does not make me feel better, but it prevents things from getting worse. I force myself to eat to prevent my appetite from dropping even further and I meet people to reduce the possibility of self isolating.

Medication plays a crucial role in managing bipolar disorder. Without it I could become acutely ill on a regular basis which could potentially be fatal. There is no imaging device or blood test that a psychiatrist can use to assess the symptoms of someone who has bipolar disorder. They rely on their observations and our report on what is happening in our life. To make this process more effective you can use mood charts that rate your mood daily to learn about patterns that may exist. Also, Crest.bd has a Quality of Life Tool that asks you a series of questions and produces a report that can help you understand how you are doing in the context of your illness. Providing this information to your psychiatrist can improve your treatment.

When you have bipolar disorder, creating a routine that includes consistent opportunities for joy and fulfillment requires learning as much as possible about your illness. Over time, this knowledge can empower you to lead your best life. While it is not a guarantee that your symptoms will never become acute it gives us the best chance to lead a rewarding life long-term.

Sleep, Hypomania and Mania

April 26, 2021 / Allan Cooper

If you have bipolar disorder and you are not sleeping very much and you feel fantastic that is a problem. This can be the first sign of the start of hypomania or even full-blown mania. If a person in this state does not receive medication to help them sleep this can increase the intensity of the episode which could potentially lead to psychosis. For this reason, many people who have bipolar disorder are prescribed medication to help them sleep.

I used to struggle with falling asleep at night. When I went to bed, I would feel too sleepy and exhausted to do anything, but I would not fall unconscious into a restful slumber. I would lay in bed for an hour or so before drifting off to sleep and I would wake up several times throughout the night. I tried to stick to sleep hygiene practices like no screen time two hours before bed, regular exercise, reserving the bedroom for sleep only, staying out of bed unless I felt sleepy and having a warm bath before bedtime. None of it worked.

This is a common problem for people who have bipolar disorder. I believe this is because we tend to have a constant stream of thoughts that are so stimulating that they keep us awake at night. These thoughts can include things like future writing projects, an underachieving hockey team, and theories about life and politics. They are great for artistic pursuits, problem solving and other cognitive challenges, but they are problematic when you just want to rest.

I realized I needed to find a way to occupy my brain with something mildly interesting but not stimulating if I wanted to be able to sleep at night. I started listening to an old radio show from 1948 called Our Miss Brooks. The show is a comedy about a sarcastic teacher who is beloved by her students and has a crush on the biology teacher. It was amusing enough to occupy my busy brain so that I could fall asleep. Now, I listen to Netflix series repeatedly instead. I do not watch the screen. I just listen to the audio.

Many of the symptoms of bipolar disorder can be grey and different for everyone who has the illness. Sleep is the one thing that almost everyone who has bipolar disorder can use to gauge if they are just having a good day or if they may be hypomanic. Having a personal strategy for getting regular sleep that suits your specific symptoms of bipolar disorder can help prevent the onset of mania and provide the energy required to effectively maintain a self care plan.

Baking “Covid Fatigue” Away

April 19, 2021 / Allan Cooper

A couple of months ago, I had little energy, my thoughts were negative, and I felt sad. I thought it might be the start of a depressive episode, but my psychiatrist told me I was suffering from “Covid Fatigue.” She explained the cumulative effect of the isolation and reduced interaction with people has led to people feeling down but she assured me I was not suffering from the physical symptoms of a bipolar depressive episode.

Had it been a bipolar depressive episode, I would have exercised a little more and made sure I kept eating to combat the poor appetite I experience. Implementing these two strategies prevents my depressive episodes from getting worse and they do not last as long. Although “Covid Fatigue” could lead to poor life choices that could trigger a depressive episode it is a psychological problem which requires a different type of intervention.

The main issue for me has been the impact Covid-I9 has had on my routine. I volunteer at the Kerby Centre, a centre that supports seniors. I find helping seniors rewarding and working with the positive staff fills my emotional need for positive interactions with people. The Kerby Centre is still providing important support to seniors via the phone, online and food delivery but the building is closed which means I am not needed at the moment.

My psychiatrist said we needed to add some activities to my life to help me stay psychologically healthy during the pandemic. After doing some brainstorming we decided that crochet and baking bread would be the answer. It is no coincident that these are two of her favourite activities. I am glad she is not into skeet shooting and gymnastics because I do not think those activities would be a fit for me.

Learning to crochet was frustrating at first but, now I find it relaxing and rewarding. I have made gifts for people which makes me feel good and it is helping me stay positive because my thoughts are occupied by making stitches. When I start to have negative thoughts, I make mistakes which take awhile to fix. Crochet is helping me train myself to focus on the present moment.

In the last few weeks, I have been attempting to make bread and it has been a challenge. My first attempt was edible but very dense. When I added all the flour that the recipe called for the dough became dry and the bread came out crumbly. I talked to a friend who bakes and she told me she just adds flour until the dough ” feels right.” I had no idea how to make dough that “feels right” but after watching a YouTube video I managed to make a loaf of bread I enjoyed eating.

The brain power I used to figure out how to bake bread was a nice break from thinking about life during Covid-l9 and I am still doing crochet. I am grateful that this trying time has given me these two new skills that I will be able to use for the rest of my life. If you would like to add bread making to your repertoire of life skills, I have included the instructions and recipe that I used below.